Craziest Night

3rd September
Dear Diary,

Tonight is like the craziest night ever especially Brooke. But, before that, first thing I did at school in the morning is meeting Lucas. I said thank you to him for everything he did for me last week and I did some mix tape to show him my appreciation.

After school, Brooke came to my home waving white flag. I said I'm sorry to her and everything is fine. Then, we went to the game together riding her Beetle.

Before the game, Brooke and I talk about Haley. She made a 'rectangle + 1 love story' theory about Nathan likes Haley but Haley likes Lucas instead. She likes Lucas and she doesn't know who I like anymore. Lol...Yeah...I don't know as well who I like at this moment. I think I just wanna be alone for now. During the game Lucas and Nathan fighting again. It was when Lucas made a joke about me dumped Nathan. During the fight Nathan hits Brooke sprained her ankle. I took Brooke to the medical center. While waiting for her, I saw Haley came. We just had a small talked.

Then Brooke came out. She looks like she's higher. According to the person that treated her, she took some pain killers. After that, I brought Brooke to the car and she invited Haley to ride with us. Then, we took off. Oh yeah...Brooke calls Haley as Brooke.

While I'm driving, me and Haley talked about Nathan and Lucas. She said Lucas cares about me. Well...suddenly the car is out of gas. Then, me and Haley walked to the gas station a few miles back and leaving Brooke alone in her car.

After we solved all the problems, we drive again and listening to some song and we are going crazy. Haley doing the air guitar move and I think Brooke is suffering at the back seat. In the middle of the road, we saw two boys which is Nathan and Lucas. They ride with us. Apparently, they were kicked out from the bus by Whitey.

If I could Erase My Dad to Bring Your Mom Back

27th August
Dear Diary,

Today, i do it again. Hitting the red light. but this time, lucas came to stop me from doing that. surprisingly, he got into my car. after several runs, i stopped the car. He asked me why i'm doing this. i told him about my mom. he said, life never fair.

after that, i went to see whitey. before i can reach him, i have to go through boys' locker room. i am really nervous. you don't know what will you see. then, whitey and i took a walk on the bridge. we talked about losing people that we love is hard. we will try to find the reasons why it happens. sometimes we will find it but sometimes you just gotta wait for the reasons.

After whitey left, i spent some time for drawing on the bridge. then i saw lucas with his basketball. maybe his on the way home. we had a few talking. he said that if he can erase his dad to bring my mom back, he will do it.

after i got home and start some drawing on canvas, nathan come. he wants us to be together again. i think not!

tonight, i did it again. i mean run over the red lights. i almost got hit by a car. then i cried. i went to the game after it overs. nathan thinks that i came because of him but the truth is i came for....lucas. maybe....i'm not sure. but what i am sure is that nathan and i are really over.

i think, i don't need to hit the red lights anymore....

Love Strong

26th August
Dear Diary,

Today at school, I talked to Nathan (he talked to me). He is asking me if I am mad at him. Actually, i'm not mad. I just want it to over.

Then, at cheer practice, I had a fight with Brooke. I really feel bad. That's why she calls me PMS. Sorry B.Davis....

I'm also went to the graveyard. I try to smoke there because people said when you smoke you can heel the pain. I just want to try. I don't know if it's bad...Luckily, Whitey came and save me. He said something nice about my mom. She was also a cheerleader. Popular. Many guys are chasing her. This is why I do cheer leading. To honor her. Then, I make fun of Whitey about his present at the graveyard is to make a reservation. He laugh. He must really love his wife, Camilla. I wonder if love that so strong even exist anymore...

People Always Leave

25th August
Dear Diary,

I found out today that Tim didn't take my car. It was Nathan! My car is in the workshop again but this time Nathan's took care of it because it is his fault! So, I decided to break up with him. I packed all his stuff that he ever gave me. We're done!

Then, I draw a comic strip for Thud about how people in my life always leave me. Like my mom for example. Later, I took a trip around the town just to hit the red light like my mom did. But i came home in one piece unlike my mom who died when she just hit one red light to pick me up from school.

Fear I Have To Live On

24th August
Dear Diary,

It's a game night again! So, I fake my face to be happy because I am a cheerleader! During the game Brooke said something about me liking Lucas...I don't know exactly what I feel...But of course I have to deny it. Well...Lucas playing awesome tonight! Then...we're moving on to the best part which Nathan invited Lucas to the after game party. Seems like Lucas brought someone named Haley James, the tutor girl. I can see that Nathan is trying to flirt with her. I'm sooo get used to it but with Haley??? I mean...Nathan flirts a lot! Usually he will flirts with cheerleader or another hot girl but a nerdy??? This can't be good!

Then, there's a quite nerve-wrecking moment when Brooke saw the comic strip that I did. She's freaks out, of course! Nathan is actually kinda knew about the comic strip...But luckily Lucas trying to make them stop.

After that I sit with Nathan and Brooke and some other people. They are having fun playing "I've Never" game. Brooke invited Lucas to join the game. I knew it's not gonna be good. It turned out as what I expected where Nathan once again dissing Lucas about the dad-thing.

And tonight, I spoke to Haley. We're just having a small talk about her tutoring Nathan. I told her to teach Nathan how not to be a jackass. She said that she will put it on the lesson plan. She should! Then I asked her if Lucas knows about this. She's speechless. I assume Lucas doesn't know. I wonder what happen when he knew...

After I went to the bathroom, I took some fresh air and a little drunk. Then Lucas came and asking about his confusion. He said that he doesn't understand when i want to be anonymous but i let the world watch me on the webcam...Then i said to him that the world isn't watching me but he is. Then he said something and i said something (because i'm drunk)...all i remembered was that i told him that i don't need him to defend my art. Suddenly, we heard the crowd saying something about the video they are watching and we're going inside. In that video there were a boy and a girl from 80's during prom I think saying something about their dreams! It turns out that the girl is Lucas' mom and Dan. Well, Nathan will never find a way to stop this dispute I guess!!!

The video make me think that what if someday I become like Karen (Lucas' mom)? I don't wanna end up like that. I don't wanna be treated like crap by a boy. I want someone who I can trust and rely on. Apparently, Nathan is not that guy! That's the fear I have to live on for now!

Tonight, Nathan's really pissed me off. First, he's being mean to Lucas and then he is disappeared from his own party for TWO hours and lastly, where he took my car? I know his lying when he told me that Tim borrowed the car to sent Brooke home. Then, with his straight face asking me if I wanted to go to bed with him??? Jerk!!! But, I spent the night at his house though because i don't have a car! Where the hell is Tim taking my car! Jerk and jerk!!!

Peyton Sawyer Said Thank You!

23rd August
Dear Diary,

Today, I made my road trip to rivercourt to thank Lucas. Well, I'm really sorry for Lucas because he got a bad treatment from Nathan. I told Lucas that i'm not gonna do that comic. He seems disappointed though. He said that maybe they're wrong for wanting me to change my story. And when I said thank you to Lucas he made a joke about me. Well, I like it when he said my full name, Peyton Sawyer.

I'm having a deep thought about what Lucas said. Then went to see the guy from the Thud and give my sketches. I told him it's my sketches and i do the way i want because life is not always happy. I told him to take it or leave it. Later, i got a message from the them telling me that they will feature my sketches in the Thud. How awesome was that???

If I Wanna Your Help, I'll Ask!

22nd August
Dear Diary

The first thing I do today at school is to find Lucas. I really mad at him because he is the one who sent my sketches to the Thud. I said to him I'll ask him if I ever wanna his help. Suddenly Brooke interrupted asking Lucas about her bra....Well...she's Brooke after all! Then, Brooke told me about she naked at the back of the Lucas' car. Surprisingly, he didn't fell for that trick. Brooke really thought that he was really nice. Well, I thought that maybe he is gay...

Then after school i went to the Thud. He likes my artwork so he gave me a dateline. He wanted me to draw about high school life with a little twist. He means that my art is all about tragedy. He wanted something happy. Before I leave he said that cheerleader always happy. But he doesn't knows.

Later, I accompanied Brooke for some waxing. We talked about Lucas. Brooke said that she wants a reliable boyfriend. Maybe, it's time for her.